Heartache
by MonicaKateBingCastle
Summary: This is a sequel to my Lost and Found series if you're not a Carter?Kerry fan turn back now.Carter's life is turned upside down when Kerry is in a serious accident
1. Default Chapter

This Fanfic is a sequel to my last fanfic. It takes place about 4 months after the last chapter of my last fanfic. Kerry and Carter are married. Their son is 4 months old. Peter never left County or Chicago. Cleo never left either she is still a peds attending at County. Jing Mei returned to County and is now dating Malucci. Abby and Luka got back together and are now engaged. Elizabeth and Mark are married Ella is nearly a year old. Rachel still lives with them and she is still a brat.  
  
  
Carter's life is turned upside down when Kerry is involved in a serious accident.  
  
Chapter 1: Heartache  
  
Kerry yawned as she padded around the house. She was so bored. She had been on maternity leave for almost 4 months now and she was more than ready to go back to work. She wondered into the nursery. She looked into the crib and smiled at her son who was girgling and kicking his feet happily. She smiled as she picked him up. "Hey you want to go see your daddy" She walked over to the changing table and dressed the baby. She crossed the hall to her and John's room and got dressed. She picked up the baby from the bed. She wrapped her arm around him tightly as she walked down the stairs. She was always afraid of dropping him but she was getting used to carrying him along with her crutch.   
  
She put the baby in his car seat. She smiled and kissed him before closing the door and getting in the drivers seat. She put on her seat belt and switched on the radio. She hummed along to OTown's All or Nothing as she pulled out of the drive way and headed for the hospital.   
  
Kerry approached an intersection she slowed down. She didn't see any on coming traffic so she proceeded. All of a sudden a gray Toyota came straight at her at high speed crashing into the drivers side and sending her car flying into a telephone pole. Kerry looked back at her baby. She whispered "John" before she passed out.  
  
The ER was rather slow right now. Susan and Carter were sitting at the admit desk playing Doom 2 on the computer when the call came in. "This is unit 47 we have a 38 year old woman and an infant about 4 or 5 months old they were involved in a mva" Carter sighed "Oh well there goes our game" he switched off the computer. He and Susan gowned up and waited for the victims. Abby and Luka came up behind them. Luka told them that unit 34 was bringing in a 34 year old man.  
  
The first unit to pull up was unit 34. Carter took the gurney and he and Susan began treating the man. Susan wrinkled up her nose. "Yuck this man reeks of cheap liquor" Carter nodded "Looks like someone's going to jail"  
  
Unit 47 pulled up. Luka and Abby walked up to get the gurney. Abby froze when she saw a familiar face. She whispers "Oh my god honey its Kerry" Luka gasped "Abby go get Carter now"  
  
Abby burst into the trauma room where Carter and Susan were working on the drunk driver. "John you need to come with me" He looked at her "Why Abby" She took a deep breath "Because the other patient that unit 47 brought in its Kerry" He stood there frozen . He whispers "What" Susan lightly touched his shoulder "Go John go be with Kerry I can handle this guy" Carter nodded and followed Abby.  
  
Carter walked into the trauma room. Luka had intubated Kerry and was examining her injuries. Luka looked up and saw him walk in. Carter walked up to the gurney. He took Kerry's small hand in his. Tears filled his eyes as he looked down at his wife laying so still. He looked up at Luka and whispers "She's going to be okay isn't she" Luka didn't know how to answer that. He looked at his friend "I don't know Carter I don't know we have to wait for the surgeon" Carter whispers "Surgeon?" Luka nodded "Yes there's evidence of internal injuries."   
  
Elizabeth walks in "You called for a surgical consult Luka" She put on gloves and a gown and walked toward the gurney. She stopped when she saw the patient. She looked at Carter and whispered "What happened" Carter couldn't contain his tears any longer they now rolled down his cheeks. "A drunk driver hit her car" She fought back her own tears and examined Kerry. She turned to Carter. "She has internal bleeding I'll have to go in and stop the bleeding" He nodded grabbing Elizabeth's hand squeezing it slightly. "Please don't let her die" She looked at him "I won't Carter I promise she'll get the best care" He walked with Elizabeth as she rolled the gurney to the elevator. As they waited for it Elizabeth asked "Carter where's the baby did she have him with her" He never answered her he leaned down and kissed Kerry's forehead whispering "I love you" before he disappeared to find his son.   
  
Carter sees Luka and Abby talking in the hall near the lounge. He races up to them. "Where's the baby" Abby looked at him not quite understanding what he meant. "What baby Carter" He had a bad feeling in his stomach. He whispers "Little John he was in the car with Kerry" Luka and Abby looked at each other neither of them knowing about the baby. Abby looked at him with sad eyes "I don't know Carter we didn't know he was in the car." Fresh tears spilled from his eyes as he feared the worst. Then he saw Cleo and she had his son in her arms.  
  
Cleo smiled when she saw Carter coming toward her in a big hurry. She whispered to the baby "Look there's daddy" She handed the baby to Carter. He hugged his son close to him. "Is he alright Cleo?" She nodded "He's fine" "How's Kerry" He looked down at the baby in his arms. He whispers "I don't know Elizabeth took her up to the OR I'm headed up there now" Cleo hugged him. "She'll make it she's strong" He thanked Cleo and headed toward the elevator. Once inside Carter broke down in sobs. His life was falling apart right before his eyes the most important part of his life was in the OR fighting for her life. He looked at his son he looked like his mother he had her eyes and her hair. He was only 4 months old he needed his mother.   
  
The elevator door opened on to the surgical floor. Carter pulled himself together. He walked up to the nurses desk. :Hi Shirley has Elizabeth come out of the OR yet" Shirley shock her head "No Dr. Corday is still in the OR" "Okay thank you Shirley I'm going to wait in the waiting area.  
  
Carter went into the waiting area and sat down on the couch. Little John started to get fussy but he had nothing to feed him. He gently rocked the baby. "Shh its okay John daddy's here" After a few minutes the baby fell asleep in his arms. He gently laid him on the couch. Carter yawned and with in minutes he too had fallen asleep.  
  
An hour later Carter was woken up by someone gently shaking him. He opened his eyes and saw Elizabeth's green eyes staring back at him. "Elizabeth where's Kerry" She sat down beside being careful not to wake up the baby. "She's in recovery but it was touch and go for awhile we almost lost her" Carter looked at her "But she's going to be okay right" Elizabeth sighed "I wish I could say yes but I can't she had some pretty severe injuries all we can do now is wait and pray that she wakes up and recovers fully" Carter didn't like what he was hearing "What do you mean are you saying she might not wake up" Elizabeth slowly nodded as tears filled her eyes. Carter stood up "I have to go be with her" Elizabeth nodded "Of course go on I'll watch John for a little while" He started to walk away but he turned around and hugged the now crying Elizabeth. "Thank you Elizabeth"  
  
Carter walked into the recovery room it was quiet except for the sounds of the machines helping Kerry breath. He sat down beside her. He held her limp hand in his. His eyes filled with tears. He reached up and pushed a few loose strands of hair from her forehead. He whispers "Kerry its me John I love you so much I promise I'll stay right here with you until you wake up" "You have to wake up Kerry little John and I need you" he sat there for a few minutes watching the soft steady movement of Kerry's chest as the machines helped her breath. He whispers "Oh Kerry" before breaking down in sobs.   
  
  
Will Kerry's condition improve. Will Carter go back to his old ways and can a friend help him in his time of need? Find out in......  
Chapter 2:Not With Out Kerry  
Coming Soon!!!! 


	2. Chapter 2 Memories of the Heart

This chapter takes place a few days after the first one. This chapter contains flashbacks from ER episodes as well as my previous Kerry/Carter fanfic  
  
  
Chapter 2: Memories Of The Heart  
  
Two days have passed since Kerry's accident and she still hasn't regained consciousness. Carter hasn't left her side. His friends kept coming in trying to get him to take a break but he refused to leave Kerry. He sat at her bedside holding her hand in his. He whispers "I love you Kerry I love you so much please come back to me" Tears filled his eyes as memories filled his mind.  
  
  
Dr. Weaver?  
Carter? What are you doing here?  
I came to see about a room for rent.  
  
  
Keep your day job Carter!  
  
  
Ha! You were a student!  
  
Jamaican vomiting sickness!?  
Look it up John.  
  
John I got this go see if Dr. Kovac needs some help.  
She knows you she doesn't feel comfortable.  
But she just paged Dr. Greene!  
Yeah but he's not delivering now go on get out of here!  
  
You know Dr. Weaver it's not too late to get in on this little gift exchange.  
You know John there's actually nothing I really need.  
  
Now you need scrubs  
  
Dr. Weaver as Mrs. Claus!  
  
John, Gabe he, he passed away last night  
I'm so sorry honey, I'm so sorry  
  
I love you Kerry.  
I love you too John.  
  
Dance with me Kerry.  
  
I love you with all my heart I knew I loved you from the start and I never want us to be apart.  
Kerry, Will you marry me.  
  
John I'm pregnant  
A baby?! Are you sure?  
Yes John I'm sure.  
This great I'm going to be a father!  
Our love created something special...Our baby  
  
Congratulations! It's a Boy!  
Our son's name is John Gabriel Carter.  
  
  
Carter looked at Kerry. She looked so fragile and pale. He lightly caressed her face. Elizabeth walked into the room and up to Kerry's bedside. She looked at Carter. "How are you holding up" He tried to smile a little. "Okay I guess" She handed him a small radio "I thought you might want to hear something besides silence" He took the radio. He whispered "Thanks"  
  
Elizabeth examined Kerry and checked her vitals. Carter whispers "How is she?" Elizabeth sighed sadly "There's no change Carter, I'm afraid she's in a coma" Tears filled his eyes again "A coma" he whispered. She nodded. "She will wake up won't she Elizabeth" Tears began to fill her eyes too. "Carter we're both doctors and we both know that there is no way of knowing if she'll wake up or not all we can do is hope an pray" Elizabeth's pager sounded. She looked at it. "Well I'm needed down in the ER but if you need anything just page me" He nodded and hugged her. "Thank you Elizabeth" She nodded as she left the room.  
  
Carter sat there looking at his wife laying so still. The words "In a coma" echoed in his head. He needed to get those awful words out of his head. He switched on the little radio Elizabeth had brought him. He held Kerry's hand in his. "You have to wake up Kerry. I love you so much you're my life I'm nothing with out you. I need you" The soft sounds of LeeAnn Rimes " I Need You" came from the small radio.  
  
  
I don't need a lot of things  
I can get by with nothin'  
With all the blessings life can bring  
I've always needed something  
But I've got all I want when it comes to lovin you  
You're my only reason, You're my only truth  
  
I need you like water, like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy from Heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through  
I need you  
  
You're the hope that moves me to courage again  
You're the love that rescues me when the cold winds rage  
And it's so amazing cause that's how you are  
And I can't turn back now  
Cause you've brought me too far  
  
I need you like water, like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy from Heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through  
I need you  
Oh yes I do   
I need You.  
  
  
By the time the song ended Carter was sobbing. He looked at his true love, his soul mate laying motionless in a hospital bed. His heart ached for her but there was nothing he could do he feared he was going to lose her and the thought of living with out her was more then he could handle. He made up his mind he knew what he had to do. He whispered "I'll be right back Kerry" He walked out of the room and went across the hall to the drug lock up. He fought hard to beat his addiction but it didn't matter anymore. He filled a syringe with morphine and walked back into Kerry's room. He took her hand and whispered "I love you Kerry and soon we'll be together again" He tapped the syringe and tapped his vein. He looked at Kerry. He looked at the syringe in his hand. Tears ran down his cheeks as he set the syringe against his skin. He was interrupted by a voice. "Carter?! What in the hell do you think you're doing"  
Carter just looked up and said "Just walk away pretend you never saw me"  
  
  
Will Carter take the lethal dose of drugs. Who walked in the room. Will he or she stop Carter from taking the lethal dose Will Kerry's condition improve?  
Find out in Chapter 3: Not Without Kerry.......Coming Soon!!!!!! 


	3. Chapter 3:Not With Out Kerry

This chapter takes place right after the last chapter.  
  
  
Chapter 3: Not With Out Kerry  
  
"Walk away I can't walk away Carter I can't let you do this to yourself" Carter sighed "Why I have nothing to live for I've lost the most important part of my life" He looked at Kerry. "What do you mean you have nothing to live for you have a 4 month son or did you forget about him and you haven't lost Kerry" "I haven't lost Kerry oh come on Peter you're a doctor you know people don't wake up from comas." Peter walked over to his friend "I thought I taught you better than that people have waken up from comas Kerry knows she has you and the baby she'll wake up and I don't think you want her to wake up and find you sitting next to her dead from an overdose do you"   
  
Carter looked at the syringe in his hand. He didn't know what to do anymore. His tears turned to sobs. Peter reached for the syringe. He whispers "Come on Carter give me the syringe" Carter loosed his grip letting him take it. Peter shoved it in his lab coat pocket. He put his arm around Carter letting him cry in his shoulder. It reminded Peter of that day in May nearly two years ago.  
  
Carter pulled away. He looked at Peter. he whispered "I love her Peter I don't know how to live with out her I need her the baby needs her" Peter looked at Kerry. He smiled a little as he remembered watching her walk down the isle on Dr. Morganstein's arm. Carter and Kerry had never been happier than they were that day. He looked at Carter "I know how much she means to you that's why you can't give up you have to pray the way we all are" Carter nodded "Peter what happened to the other driver" Peter sighed "Carter that's not important" Carter looked at him "Please Peter I want to know" Peter sighed again "Fine if you really want to know all he suffered was some cuts and bruises and a broken wrist" Carter was outraged "That's not fair!" "He put my Kerry in a coma but all he had were cuts, bruises and a broken wrist!! He should be dead for what he did to my wife!"   
  
Peter couldn't say he didn't agree. A drunk driver had taken the life of his son's mother a few months ago. He hadn't gotten along to well with Carla but he was Reese's mother and she didn't deserve to have her life cut short by a drunk driver.   
  
Carter looked at Peter "Will you stay with Kerry" Peter looked at him with concern "Why Carter so you can go hurt yourself" Carter shook his head "No so I can make the son of a bitch who did this to her pay" Peter sighed "Come on man what good will that do he's already going to jail do you want to end up in jail too"   
  
Carter punched the wall "I can't let him get away with hurting her I love her but you probably wouldn't understand you've never been in love and I mean really in love not what you supposedly have with Cleo" Peter smiled a little "You're wrong Carter I have been in love but I was stupid I let her get away and now she's with someone else and when I was with her there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to protect her but I knew my limits and you should too" "Going and beating up the guy who caused Kerry's accident won't do any good to you or Kerry"  
  
Elizabeth walked into the room with little John in her arms. "Someone wanted to see their daddy" Carter smiled as she handed him the baby. Elizabeth smiled at Peter and Carter noticed him blush a little and that's when he realized who the woman was that Peter spoke of. Carter kissed the baby's cheek "Hey you how's my little man do you want to go see mommy" He walked over to the bed. He gently sat the baby next to Kerry. He whispers "Look Kerry little John is here he missed his mommy" Carter watched the curious baby lightly touching his mommy's motionless face and hands. It broke Carter's heart to see his tiny son laying next to his motionless mother.   
  
Susan walked into the room she watched Carter for a minute her heart went out to her friend. She walked past Elizabeth and Peter saying a brief hello to them and walked up to Carter. She touched his shoulder causing him to jump. "Susan you startled me" She smiled "Sorry I didn't mean to" She took a deep breath. "John the man who ran into Kerry he's been cleared to go to jail but he's asking to see you" Carter looked at her "What! You can't be serious well I don't care because I don't want to see him" Susan looked at him "John I think you should I think he wants to apologize" Carter was furious "I don't care Susan his damn apology won't give me back my wife, it won't give little John back his mother" Tears filled his eyes again. Susan gently rubbed his back "Shh its okay I'm sorry" Carter nodded "It wasn't your fault Susan I'm sorry I yelled at you" Susan nodded "At least think about what I said okay" Carter nodded "Okay Susan I will"   
  
Carter sat there looking at his Kerry. A million thoughts ran through his head. One thought stuck out. He kept thinking about his conversation with Susan. Should he go down and see the jerk who caused Kerry's accident. He took Kerry's hand in his and whispered "What should I do Kerry"  
  
Will Carter go see the man who caused Kerry's accident? Will Kerry wake up?  
Find out in....Chapter 4:The Power Of Love......Coming Soon!!!!!!! 


	4. Chapter 4:Unforgivable

Chapter 4: Unforgivable   
  
Carter sat for hours replaying his conversation with Susan in his head. He looked at Kerry still laying motionless. There was no way he could ever forgive that man. He was the reason she was laying there so still but yet three was a little part of him that wanted to confront him. He made a decision would go see the guy but there was no way he was getting forgiveness.   
  
Carter looked at Peter. "Will you stay with Kerry" Peter looked at him "Why where are you going" Carter sighed "I decided to go down and see the guy and I don't want her to wake up alone" Peter nodded "Okay but don't go causing trouble." Carter nodded "I won't" He leaned over and kissed Kerry. Whispering "I'll be back honey but don't worry Peter is here with you okay" He started to walk out but stopped "Thank you Peter for saving my life again" Peter nodded as he watched his former student leave the room. He walked over and sat with Kerry just as he had promised.  
  
  
Down in the ER Carter searched for Susan. He saw Carol . He walked over to her "Hey Carol have you seen Susan" Carol smiled "Carter, How's Kerry" He sighed a hint of sadness shown in his eyes "There's been no change Carol she's still in a coma" Carol sighed sadly she held a special place in her heart for Kerry ever since she delivered her daughter Tess. She gave Carter a hug. She whispers "I'm sorry Carter." He sighed "Don't be Carol she's going to wake up" Carol nodded "Of course she will, now didn't you say you were looking for Susan she's in exam 4 taking a nap." He thanked her and made his way to exam 4.  
  
He tapped on the door but didn't get an answer so he slowly pushed open the door to see Susan curled up on the bed. He hated to wake her but he knew if he didn't do this now then he wouldn't do it at all. He lightly touched her shoulder. "Susan" She moved a little but didn't wake up so he lightly touched her shoulder again "Susan" This time she shot up saying "Okay I'm up I'm up" She say Carter standing by the bed. "John what's wrong is it Kerry" He shook his head "No it's not Kerry I've decided to see the guy" Susan looked at him kind of surprised "You have" He nodded. She stood up and grabbed her stethoscope placing it around her neck "Are you sure" She asked. Carter looked at her "Yes" he whispered.   
  
Susan took him to exam room 2 where the man was laying restraint to the gurney. Susan turned to Carter "Do you want me to go in with you" Carter shook his head "No I'll be okay" She smiled "Okay but I'll be right outside if you need me" He nodded "Thank you Susan" He took a deep breath and walked into the room. He looked at the man laying there and he felt anger building up. He walked up to the gurney he looked at the guy "I'm John Carter you asked to see me" The man looked up at him and slowly nodded. "Yes I did I'm Trevor Malone" Carter screamed "I don't care who the hell you are" Trevor whispers "I wanted to see you because I wanted to tell you I was sorry" Carter was getting angrier "You're sorry!! My son my 4 month old son was in the car and his mother she's up in the ICU in a coma and you're sorry"! "All you have are some cuts and bruises my wife had to have surgery and now she may never wake up! Tell my son you're sorry! He may never know his mother because of you" Tears of frustration and sadness filled his eyes. "I hope you rot in prison for what you did to Kerry!!" Trevor looked at him "I said I was sorry what more do you want form me!"   
  
Carter was outraged "What more do I want from you why you little!!" He pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He took a picture out letting the wallet fall to the ground he shoved the picture in Trevor's face "What want is for you to look at this picture that's Kerry the woman you hit and that is our little boy I want you to see the family you tore apart! Trevor pushed it away "Get that out of my face!" Carter screamed "Look at her you bastard! Look at her!" Trevor grabbed the picture and threw it. "Carter yelled "You son of a bitch" He was about to hit the guy when someone came into the room. "Carter" He screamed What!" Susan looked at him "Whoa settle down" He took a deep breath "Sorry Susan" She smiled "That's okay" " I got a call from upstairs Peter said to get up there quickly"   
  
The color drained from his face. "Why what happened is it Kerry is she okay" Susan lightly touched his shoulder "I don't know John he just said to tell you to get upstairs quickly" Carter reached down and picked up the picture that Trevor had thrown down. He looked at Kerry smiling back at him from the photo. Tears filled his eyes. He clutched the picture in his hands as he raced to the elevator. He rode up to the ICU. He got out of the elevator and headed to Kerry's room. He stopped at the window . He saw both Peter and Elizabeth standing over Kerry's bed. His tears now ran down his cheeks as he slowly pushed open the door and walked in. He wasn't ready for what he saw.   
  
What did Carter see!! Find out in Chapter 5: The Power Of Love......Coming Soon!!!!!! 


	5. Chapter 5:ThePower Of Love

Chapter 5: The Power Of Love  
  
Carter walked into the room. He wasn't ready for what he saw. Kerry's blue-green eyes were staring back at him. Carter smiled as he pushed his way to her bedside. He took her hand. "Kerry! You have no idea how happy I am to see those beautiful eyes of yours" Tears filled his eyes again but these were tears of happiness. Kerry tugged on Carter's sleeve then she pointed to the tube in her mouth. He lightly caressed her cheek . "I don't know honey " He looked to Elizabeth. She smiled "I'll extubate you Kerry but only if you promise you won't try and talk too much" Kerry nodded. Elizabeth took a hold of the tube "Okay when I count to three I want you to blow like you're blowing out birthday candles" Kerry shot her a look. Elizabeth giggled "Oops that's right you knew that didn't you". She removed the tube and Kerry started to cough. Carter gave her some water "Sip on this honey" She took a few sips. He voice was scratchy and very low as she whispers "John what happened to me" He looked at her slightly puzzled "Don't you remember Kerry" She shook her head.   
  
Carter looked at Elizabeth and then back at Kerry "Honey you and the baby were in a car accident you were hit by a drunk driver" Tears filled Kerry's eyes . She started to cough again. She whispers "John the baby is he.." He shook his head "No no he's fine he was here with you earlier Elizabeth took him down to daycare" Elizabeth smiled "Do you want to see him Kerry I'll go get him for you" Kerry nodded and whispered "Thank you" She nodded as she left the room.   
  
Peter watched Carter as he sat with his love a smile was on his face a smile that was almost gone forever. Carter looked over and saw Peter watching him. He thought about what he had almost done earlier and Peter had been right Kerry would have woken up alone. He got up and walked across the room "You were right Peter she would have woken up alone I'm glad you showed up thank you" He hugged Peter. Peter lightly patted his back "You're welcome Carter"  
  
Elizabeth walked in with little John in her arms. She smiled when she saw the two men in a hug "Mmm I'd love to be in the middle of that hug" She let out a little giggle. She handed Carter the baby. "Come on Peter lets leave them alone" She grabbed his hand pulling him gently "Come on I'll bye you a cup of coffee in the cafeteria" Peter smiled "Alright" The two of them walked out together.   
  
Carter smiled as he watched them leave. He whispered to the baby "Look little man mommy's awake!" He walked over to the bed and placed the baby in Kerry's arms. She kissed and cuddled him. He sat down on the bed next to Kerry wrapping his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest. A few tears of happiness glistened in Carter's eyes as he whispered "I love you Kerry" Kerry's voice was still hoarse as she whispered "I love you too" She started coughing again but this time she couldn't stop. Tears filled her eyes and fear filled her face as she reached for Carter. Whispering between the coughing "It hurts John" Her coughing turned to gasping as she tried to catch her breath. She gripped Carter's shirt sleeve "Can't breath" she gasped.   
  
Carter stood frozen with fear he didn't know what to do he had years of medical training and he didn't know what to do. He was trembling as he reached for the phone. He paged Elizabeth. He grabbed a breathing mask and put it over Kerry's mouth and nose. He sat down beside her. He smoothed her hair and whispered "It's okay Kerry, Elizabeth will be here soon she'll know what to do" Carter felt useless he was a doctor but he couldn't help his wife. He was often told by his colleges that doctors shouldn't treat their family but he still felt he should have done something.  
  
Peter and Elizabeth sat in the cafeteria sipping on coffee and talking. Peter set his hand on hers and smiled "I've missed talking to you like this" Elizabeth blushed. "I guess I've missed talking to you too" Elizabeth heard her pager. She pulled her hand out from under his and reached for her pager. "Peter its Carter! "I've 


End file.
